Quotes On Men And Women Joke

Women have more imagination than men do.
They need it to tell men how wonderful they are.

Women have their faults.
Men have only two - everything they say and everything they do.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.

A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't want.

Men always want to be a woman's first love.
Women have a more subtle instinct - they like to be a man's last romance.

To women love is an occupation.
To men it is a preoccupation.

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way and the other is to let her have it.

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.

Husbands are like cars - all of them are good the first year.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

If women knew what men were thinking they'd never stop slapping them.

Men are like animals but they make great pets.

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.

Women have two weapons - cosmetics and tears.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
A man will cherish the memory of the woman he didn't marry.