Christians Changing Light Bulb Joke

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one, since his hands are in the air anyway.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. They only use candles.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including: incandescent, fluorescent three way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Orthodox: Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Southern Baptists: Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee who report to the 18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 member church Board who appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a light bulb, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.

Lutherans: Change??!?!

Atheists: One. But they are still in darkness.

Amish: What's a light bulb?