Christmas Letter To God Joke

Little Desmond came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. Christmas was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Desmond was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Desmond's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Desmond, of course, thought he did. Desmond's mother, being a good Catholic, wanted Desmond to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Desmond, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Desmond stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1:

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend,
Desmond

Desmond knew that wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:

Dear God,

I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.

Desmond

Desmond knew he could not send this letter to God either. So he wrote a third letter.

LETTER 3:

God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!

Thank you,
Desmond

Desmond knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now Desmond was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Desmond's mother thought her plan had worked as Desmond looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," Desmond's mother told him.

Desmond walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Desmond went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Desmond bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Desmond began to write his letter to God.

LETTER 4:

God,

I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO