Kitchen closed - this chick has had it!
Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat, too!
Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!
You may touch the dust in this house, but please don't write in it!
If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.
A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.
Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
My kitchen was clean last week; too bad you missed it!
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.
My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.
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